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By Friggin Loon on July 30, 2010 | No Friggin Comments
Whoopsie. When Japanese officials went to congrats Sogen kato the oldest man in Tokyo on his 111th birthday, they found a mummified body lying in bed. OMG and whats more, he’d been dead for 30 years. Hmm, seems his family had been covering up the fact that he had keeled so they could collect his pension payments. The relis had said Kato had confined himself to his room for 30 odd years after becoming a “living Buddha” but in reality he was dead in bed with his undies and pjs on. -
By Friggin Loon on May 27, 2010 | No Friggin Comments
Move over Peter Sutcliffe we have a new serial killer in town. OMG,a British academic, who has a PhD in psychology and is currently studying serial killers (in particular Jack The Ripper) is being held under suspicion of murdering three prostitutes.Nice one, hiding under the cloak of Academia. Stephen Griffiths was arrested after a caretaker discovered horrific, and I mean horrific, CCTV footage of a woman being shot in the head with a crossbow. The victim, Suzannes Blamires, was seen being chased down a corridor outside Mr Griffiths’ flat, bashed unconscious and moments later shot in the head with a crossbow bolt before being dragged away .Urgh, later footage shows a man, believed to be the university researcher, taking bin bags out of his flat. Oh dear and it just gets worse, police suspect Ms Blamires was dismembered with a samurai sword and some of her body parts eaten. Sheez, search his place I bet they find a DVD of Silence of the Lambs! Mr Griffiths was nicknamed “weirdo” by the neighbors, who are probably counting their lucky stars he never overheard them! Body parts, believed to be those of Ms Blamires, were found floating in River Aire on Tuesday.Psst I wasn’t kidding the murders happened in Bradford, the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe’s stomping grounds.
2nd psst He also had a MySpace page under Ven Pariah which has now been removed!
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By Friggin Loon on August 20, 2009 | 1 Friggin Comment
And you think Im nuts!
WTF. A paedophile pensioner with a 30 year history of abusing little kiddies has been prescribed Viagra on the National Health System (NHS) in the UK. Bless! Roger Martin who is 71 simply went to his GP and asked for it because he suffers from diabetes (evidently that helps!). And guess what? There isn’t a single thing anyone can do about it! Probation officers who are assigned to Mr Martin are just shaking their heads in disbelief. To make the situation all the more disturbing Mr Martin has just this week escaped a jail sentence after assaulting an 11 year old last year because the judge believed he ‘wouldn’t be able to cope’ behind bars.WTF Nanny State? Peterborough MP Stewart Jackson said: “This is a bizarre and outrageous example of where common sense gets thrown out of the window in preference to so-called human rights and political correctness.”
Psst You know I sometimes wonder whether this is all done deliberately to keep the well oiled machine going. Pedophile re-offends, police arrest him, judge keeps him out of jail, doctor prescribes Viagra, he re-offends, police arrest him…. Now everyone is happy and all their jobs are safe!
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By Friggin Loon on August 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Why don't you smell my breath officer!!!
Donald May is suing the Kissimmee Police Department after he spent three months behind bars because of his mints. Mr May was driving home from work when cops pulled him over for an expired tag, next thing he knows they are accusing him of chewing crack and promptly arrested him. Turns out that crack he was chewing was in fact breath mints. The officer, on the other hand, claims he saw Mr May purchase the drugs while at an intersection and that when he was pulled over he promptly ate the evidence. The officer also claims the field test on the remains of the white substance in Mr May’s mouth tested positive for drugs! Hmm? Anywho Mr May couldn’t raise the bond so he spent 3 months behind bars waiting for the test results. In the meantime the police department auctioned off his car, he lost his job and also his apartment.
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By Friggin Loon on August 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
As if he wasn’t humiliated enough with his 150 year sentenced, now Bernie Madoff’s lover has written a tell all which includes a nice chunky paragraph (or two) about his small penis! Money, freedom and now not even his family jewels are worth a thing! Here is a little excerpt “Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference.” Geez, embarrassed much? Oh and wait, there’s more “His tiny penis hadn’t prevented me from climaxing”. Hmm, I guess where Bernie is now size doesn’t matter so much! Soap-on-a-rope Bernie, soap-on-a-rope!
Psst Way to go to get your money back Sheryl! I hope the book sells enough to repay your family who lost their money to the penile challenged ass.
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By Friggin Loon on August 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
No Lady, he was putting money into your handbag!
Well I’ll be! A former pickpocket is heading the new TalkTalk’s putpocketing initiative funded by a broadband provider in London. Oh and it’s nothing like you’d think. The putpocket is the reverse of that annoying activity (by some) of pickpocketing. So instead of stealing wallets from unsuspecting tourists, this group are actually putting money back into the pockets of unsuspecting people. The team are made up of 20 former pickpockets and they are lurking around popular London tourist locations slipping £5 to £20 notes into unguarded pockets and handbags.Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Chris Fitch, who heads the initiative said “Every time I put money back in someone’s pocket, I feel less guilty about the fact I spent many years taking it out.” Oh and don’t worry, London police have been informed about the putpockets. The group will be putting over £100,000 into pockets in the following months.
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By Friggin Loon on August 20, 2009 | 1 Friggin Comment
That ain't helping!!
Geez, first you become the new queen of the track, next thing you know you are being accused of being a man! Could life get any better? Seems some of Caster Semenya’s rivals aren’t too happy she won the 800m nor the fact she looks suspiciously like a man. Bummer! The 18 year old will now be required to undergo a gender test to dispel rumors and accusations. The relative rise from obscurity to become the women’s 800m world champion has more than raised a few eyebrows, especially as she eclipsed defending champion Janeth Jepkosgei by over 2 and half seconds. Results will be in, in about two weeks, but for Semenya I am thinking it really is a lose/lose situation. If it is proven she is a man, she will face the humiliation that only scandal brings and if the results prove she really is a woman, well she will have to face a whole different kind of humiliation.
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By Friggin Loon on August 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Well just when you thought you had seen everything, along comes Urban Golf. Yep, I kid you not, take out the rules,the etiquette, the course and the friggin hole and you have Urban Golf. OK, I know what you are thinking, WTF, people whacking a ball around the neighborhood with a friggin golf stick (alarm bells). But I have it from good authorities (TwitrGolfers) that it isn’t as dangerous as it looks and it uses a special ball (suppose we should be grateful!). Come on, show a bit of enthusiasm, it’s taking the world by storm.. OK, well just Newcastle! I am sensing some skepticism here people, you aren’t buying it are you? Well the dude that is running the whole thing down under has got himself some council approval and has already had a successful Urban Golf Day. Who knows it could end up becoming an Olympic event!!! Check it out Australian Urban Golf.
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By Friggin Loon on August 4, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Oh dear god, not since Daly was arrested at Hooters has golf been in such disarray. As denials and allegations of foul play on the 18th (Buick Open) spread around the golfing world, CBS are in damage control. Oh yeah, they are denying it was Tiger who let rip on the 18th with a big old finger being pointed at the friggin mike man.Oh adda boys, blame the sound guy! But if you look closely at the footage Tiger actually lifts his leg at the time of impact. Now people, once you get your fart on TMZ it’s time to grab your lawyer because “FartGate” is now taking on a life of it’s own. Tiger has single handedly brought golf tumbling off it’s pedestal and down to the level of common man. Check out the video, guilty or innocent?
Psst So if a tiger farts in the woods and no one can hear, does it still smell?
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By Friggin Loon on July 28, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Notice anything wrong with this graphic? Seems, everyone except Fox News missed Egypt’s sneaky little overthrow of Iraq. While the rest of the world had their eyeballs focusing on Kim Jong Il and Imadinnerjacket, Egypt did a little shock and awe themselves. Well, that’s that, troops should be home by the end of the week. Meanwhile, as CNN continue to kick themselves for completely missing the overthrow, reports are coming out of the cafeteria that Christiane Amanpour is inconsolable.
Psst Rumors are Geraldo was behind the breaking news after receiving a tip from a reliable source.
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