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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
This is funny… deep down I am hoping it wasn’t done deliberately.
Hmm, know something we dont
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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
OK, promise not to laugh..no I mean it…promise? A City Councilman in Riverside has successfully canvased to have the name of a street changed. Yep, Wong Way is no more. Mike Gardner thought the name was disrespectful and sent the wrong message to Chinese immigrants, despite it being named after the late George Wong who was the last person to live in the city’s former Chinatown. The short little road was originally named in 1961 and is located near the old Chinese section of town but to many the name has long been considered a joke rather than an honor. So now Wong Way has been renamed…wait for it…Wong Street (like that’s any better!). George Street Mike, George Street!!
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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Geez that Arnie!
So California State Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger does have a sense of humor. No girlie man envy here. The governator sent Senate President Darrell Steinberg a sculpture of bull testicles. Yes, melon sized bull’s balls. The little joke was intended as a friendly reminder to the Democratic-controlled State Senate to be tough on decisions to be made about the budget.
The gift was also in response to the bag of mushrooms given to Arnie after he called the Democrats’ budget proposals,’hallucinatory’.And so now, hows about a solution to the $24.3 billion budget shortfall children?
Psst Hey Ann, I wonder if they feel like elbows?
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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Hmm, whilst we are on the subject of chooks, has anyone heard of Mike the headless chicken? Come on people, he’s got a page on Wiki for goodness sakes! OK, Miracle Mike was a very lucky or unlucky chicken (depending on how you look at it) who survived the old beheading,well sort of! Cast your mind back to 1945 on an early September morning around 6.45 in Fruita , Colorado. Farmer Lloyd Olsen, armed with an axe went out to his yard to get himself a chicken for lunch. Mike happened to be the slowest runner that day and Olsen a poor marksman. In the swing of the axe Olsen failed to totally lob off Mike’s head, well he got everything except one ear, the jugular vein and his brain cell.You guessed it, mike the headless chicken survived. A guilt ridden Olsen didn’t have the heart to kill him so he began feeding Mike food with an eyedropper by dripping it down his esophagus. Mike soon became fat, famous and rich by carving a career for the Olsen family himself as a touring sideshow act. Sadly Mike choked to death in a hotel room in 1947 while still on tour. But wait there’s more….Fruita Colorado now honor one of their most famous citizens by having the annual “Mike the Headless Chicken Day” (3rd weekend of May). Come on people its truuuuuue! Check it out Mike The Headless Chicken! Geez your a tough crowd!
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By Friggin Loon on May 13, 2009 | 1 Friggin Comment
Well, ladies have I got the perfect gift for you, the “Angels Knee Pillow” or as the Japanese like to call it Tenshi no Hizamakura. Some narky little housewife must have come up with this one. It’s a toilet knee stool for men. Yep, it is designed for men to kneel whilst peeing, giving them less distance to miss the friggin bowl. No more cleaning that toilet seat ladies! Kneeling whilst pissing makes it that much harder for men to spray all over the place. So much more hygenic. Ooh and wait for it…it comes in two diffent styles the “eco” bench ($50) or the deluxe DX two piece ($60). Can’t wait to see hubby’s face when he unwraps one of those for Christmas.
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By Friggin Loon on May 13, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Say, do you fix frogs?
Oh dear god, what do you do when you run the lawnmower over a green tree frog and take half it’s skin off it’s back? Take it to Veterinarian Stephen Cutter and the good folks at the Ark Animal Hospital in the Northern Territory will fix it. The little amphibian was rushed to the veterinarian clinic and straight into emergency surgery, where a team carefully reattached its slimy skin to its back. After the successful operation Dr Cutter said “It was a pretty horrific injury.But from day one she fought to live. It’s very lucky to be alive,”. Bless!
Psst The frog has been named Victoria in honor of the Victa mower that nearly claimed her life! I am guessing the bill will be more than that mower!
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By Friggin Loon on May 9, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Darl, could I have a darker color so you dont see the dirt!
Schapelle Corby, ex beauty therapist and convicted Aussie drug smuggler has discovered a great way to pass away the time at the Kerobokan jail in Bali. Teach the inmates beauty tips. With 15 odd years of her sentence left to go, it may help keep her mind off things. A group have already approached authorities about setting up a beauty salon so they can run makeup courses. And wouldn’t you know it, sis Mercedes (with her recently acquired millions) has offered to supply the products for the salon, bless. I think there would nothing better for morale than looking pretty in prison.
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By Friggin Loon on May 9, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
And that was just the needle!
Ouch, who’d want to be a man in Botswana. All hail Ministry of Health! They have just announced that they will be circumcising nearly half a million men in an effort to curb the spread of HIV over the next 5 years. Reason? Studies have revealed that circumcised men are 2 to 3 times less likely to contract HIV. The government is already running TV and radio campaigns to encourage men to visit clinics for safe circumcision procedures (what are they likely to do it themselves?). Hmm that could be an awfully hard sell!
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By Friggin Loon on May 9, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
A man walks into a Deveroes store in Dayton and proceeds to steal clothes off the racks, stuffing them up his shirt and in his pants. Before making a getaway he notices a pile of job application forms on the front counter, so he decides to fill one out. Heck, why not he knows the stuff they have is worth stealing, right? Unfortunately for Stanley Wright, the friggin alarms went off when he tried leaving the store.The staff promptly rang police after Mr Wright fled and gave them the application form which he had neatly filled out with his name and address. When they came a knocking Mr Wright was busily ironing one of the pairs of jeans he had stolen. -
By Friggin Loon on May 9, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Les Misérables
You know kids, you could learn a lot from Indian beggars. Thousands of young beggars in India are learning a few extra languages in time for the onslaught of tourists for next year’s Commonwealth Games in New Delhi. French and Spanish are the most popular of choice amongst child beggars. Ooh and classes have already started in Lal Quarter (popular beggar hang out).Raju Sansi, one of the teachers said: “Students are taught how to say phrases like ’I am an orphan’, ’I have not eaten for days’, ’I am ill and have no money for medicine, please help me in the name of God’.” Bless, they are also trained to identify the different currencies and their values. Yes, very important, don’t want to be short changed by some dodgy tourist.
Psst Imagine, when the kids grow up they could get a job as a telemarketer just about anywhere!
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