OK, promise not to laugh..no I mean it…promise? A City Councilman in Riverside has successfully canvased to have the name of a street changed. Yep, Wong Way is no more. Mike Gardner thought the name was disrespectful and sent the wrong message to Chinese immigrants, despite it being named after the late George Wong who was the last person to live in the city’s former Chinatown. The short little road was originally named in 1961 and is located near the old Chinese section of town but to many the name has long been considered a joke rather than an honor. So now Wong Way has been renamed…wait for it…Wong Street (like that’s any better!). George Street Mike, George Street!!

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No complaints coming from the wildlife of Hackney!

Quick, get out of the pool, it’s raining , you might get wet. Hmm, there is an awful lot of head shaking going on at the outdoor baths at London Fields Lido. New health and safety rules require swimmers to get out of the water when it is raining . Yep, that’s right the Hackney Council is not allowing any swimmers in the outdoor pool to stay in the water when the heavens open. The reasoning? Rain makes the water cloudy and thus makes it difficult for lifeguards to see the bottom. All hail Hackney Council.Conservative MP Patrick Mercer said “There’s no common sense and this is just a continuation of the growing nanny state that prevents people from doing more and more things.”

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Oh dear, Kevin Simpson the school crossing patrol officer is in a little trouble after tying tinsel to his lollipop.It seems a member of the public wasn’t too happy about it and dobbed him in to the Hampshire County Council (bah humbug). Mr Simpson ties tinsel to his lollipop every year around Christmas time to add a bit of festive cheer to an otherwise mundane job. The council believe the tinsel obscures the lollipop sign and poses a safety problem. They have now banned the lollipop guy from using tinsel, despite protests from parents. Mr Simpson said “When I was told that the tinsel had to go I was in tears and so were the children.” You know, if I was him I would whack the tinsel all over himself. Friggin councils.

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About friggin time yoga had a fatwa!

No more downward facing dog, salutation seal or upside-down tortoise for Muslims in Malaysia , yoga has just been banned (sorry dudes). The National Fatwa Council (gosh, didn’t know they existed) just issued a fatwa (edict) on yoga because it includes Hindu spiritual elements, basically chanting and worship. Council chairman Abdul Shukor Husin told reporters “It is inappropriate. It can destroy the faith of a Muslim,” Hmm, seems the ultimate aim of yoga is to be one with a god of a different religion (crap and here I thought it was just about exercise!). Mikaeel need not worry, I don’t think crotch grabbing is a yoga move!

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Bill wants more money now he knows the hazards of his workplace!

Renfrewshire Council in Scotland have your back! After one of their employees slipped over on a pile of leaves and broke his collarbone they immediately responded by issuing tips on how not to fall over.The dude was jumping on a pile of leaves on the back of a truck when he jumped a little to high and flipped over the side for goodness sakes. As a result around 8,000 council workers were given a document entitled “Corporate guidance on the prevention of slips, trips and falls”. The document includes lessons on how to tackle trees, bushes and dead leaves without injuring yourself (riveting reading). Evidently councils fork out over £512 million a year on compensation claims (well, this should at least halve it!).

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Cheer up guys, you're next after the renovations!

OK lets start by saying who would pay $23 million for a mural and then follow it up with who would use money from overseas development aid to fund it ? Hear is a hint, the United Nations Human Rights Council. Hmm, a lavish party was held in U.N.’s Geneva Headquarters to celebrate the unveiling of the sprawling 16,000-square-foot. They sipped champagne and proudly admired the ceiling artwork by Spanish painter Miquel Barcelo. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon thanked Barcelo for putting his ,”unique talents to work in the service of the world.” Service of the world? He can’t be serious,  how much was he paid for his “service”?  I wonder what the starving children of Africa think? It is estimated that $633,000 came from Spain’s aid budget intended to help alleviate poverty in poor countries.But don’t fret it is mild in comparison to the $1 billion planned renovation of the UN’s headquarters which will commence as soon as the UN’s New York offices face lift of $1.9 million is finished, bless.

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Christmas is over for you lot, OK!

There will be no Christmas cheer in some parts of the world this year as financial woes and lack of Christmas spirit force governments and councils to place bans on certain Christmas activities. Here is a list of the more outrageous ones.

Croatian Ban on Christmas Parties : Oh no, no ho-ho in Croatia if you work for the government. Yep, they have banned Christmas and New Year parties in the public sector until further notice, thanks to the global financial crisis. Prime Minister Ivo Sanader said “For that goal we forbid buying of Christmas and New Year’s gifts as well as organizing of Christmas and New Year’s receptions,” Oh and don’t expect no Christmas bonus anytime soon either, they have whacked an old wage freeze on public-sector salaries next year. Crap, should you be worried?

Madrid Bans Tinsel Wigs : Oh Madrid are bah humbugging this year too, banning the sales of tinsel wigs, costumes and other joke-shop items (damn, nothing says Christmas like a tinsel wig!). Seems they don’t want these fun items getting in the way of traditional Christmas stuff. This latest move is seen as an attempt to restore Christmas spirit to the city. It seems that the “bah humbug” culprits have been setting up stalls amongst the legitimate Christmas ones in the central Plaza Mayor square. Unfortunately the non Christmas stalls have become so popular that the locals have created a carnival-like atmosphere in the square leading up to Christmas . But no more, the 84 stalls which will be set up in the square later this month will only be allowed to sell lights, trees, decorations, and figurines and other items needed to make a traditional nativity scene. Party is over for tinsel wigs!

Oxford city council : Have yourself a merry “winter light festival” in Oxford because the word Christmas is banned from the annual festival. The idea is the brainchild of the charity Oxford Inspires, which has been set up to promote culture in the area. Christmas lights will be replaced with a 25-metre mobile of lanterns in the shape of the solar system (nothing says Christmas like the solar system). Ironically members of the Jewish, Muslim and other religious groups have condemned the decision.

Westminster Council : Ooh here is a new way for the councils to cover up their “politically correct” policies on Christmas, ban carols because they are too noisy.Debenhams on Oxford Street is the latest to jump on the bah humbug express, banning the broadcasting of any Christmas carol to accompany Christmas window displays because of potential noise pollution. I wonder how many meetings they had to have before someone came up with that one? Despite shop owners offering to lower the volume all music has been banned. Daniel Astaire the council’s cabinet member for community protection response to the ban “If every business was allowed to blast its choice of music and advertising into Oxford Street a visit would become unbearable and inevitably affect trade,” Hmm, when was the last time you heard Silent Night being blasted from a shopping Store sound system?

Manila Airport: OK, now we have some serious global bah humbugging.Seems workers at Manila Airport have been banned from wishing travellers a Merry Christmas.Want to hear their excuse ? Hmm,the airport general manager Alfonso Cusi claims that the polite yuletide greeting was a “not so subtle way of asking for money”. Alrighty a Christmas scam,very inventive. He goes on to say that anyone found violating the order will be punished.

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Well, yes if that's what they call the tax office these days !

So which council is in the firing range today? Brighton & Hove City Council, England, take a bow. Someone in their department left a not so nice answering machine message on the council phone. People who rang the council number  were greeted with a “hold the line” before a voice is faintly heard telling the speaker the computer systems are down.  It is then that the words “Oh shit” could be heard loud and clear.Unfortunately the staff member forgot to erase and re-record the message. The council is still unsure how long the rude message had been running for or how many elderly people they have offended. Gary Morrill,a local resident said “It’s a typical council mess up. It would be very offensive if an old lady had called the number and heard that when all she wanted was some council tax advice.”

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