Ouch, who’d want to be a man in Botswana. All hail Ministry of Health! They have just announced that they will be circumcising nearly half a million men in an effort to curb the spread of HIV over the next 5 years. Reason? Studies have revealed that circumcised men are 2 to 3 times less likely to contract HIV. The government is already running TV and radio campaigns to encourage men to visit clinics for  safe circumcision procedures (what are they likely to do it themselves?). Hmm that could be an awfully hard sell!

How the hell do you accidentally blow up a diver? Well, by using dynamite to fish for starters ! Oh for goodness sakes, four Vietnamese fishermen who were fishing in Phu Cu suddenly saw bubbles under the water and thought it was a big friggin fish so they tossed a stick of dynamite at it (as you do!!). Whoops, when they went to retrieve the fish they found one dead diver. Dynamiting a diver kinda takes the fun out of the whole experience, don’t ya think? Crap, what type of dynamite were they using that the friggin Coast Guard heard the explosion? Despite attempts to flee the scene, the authorities promptly arrested the four stunned mullets. Hmm, dynamite fishing is illegal in Vietnam because it damages coral reefs (no shit and divers too!). Hmm, wouldn’t it be cheaper just using a net? AND pray tell what friggin state would the fish be in after being blasted to kingdom come? So many questions….

OK , Paul Duran Jr.wasn’t a real nice guy, but putting him in a cell with a convicted killer he had testified against, was wrong. Hmm, Paul Duran Jr.lasted about 15 minutes before he was beaten to a pulp and killed. The 23 year old was in Oklahoma State Penitentiary serving time when he got into a fight with a cellmate. As a result a prison guard put him in with Jessie James Dalton the dude he dobbed in as being the killer of Billy Wayne Ray in a trial 2002. An investigation is underway as to why Mr Duran was place in that cell.

Oh boy, laws are tough in Saudi Arabia (if you are a woman). Khamisa Sawadi,a 75 year granny, has been sentenced to 40 lashes and 4 months in the slammer for what was said to be “mingling” with two young men who were not her immediate relis.The two men were bringing her 5 loaves of bread when they were caught by the religious police. The two men, of which one was her late husband’s nephew, were also sentenced to prison and lashes. Ooh and guess who dobbed the old lady in ? Her nephew’s father that’s who. He accused her of corruption. Mrs Sawadi, who was Syrian born, will be deported after she completes her sentence. I am thinking that might be a good thing! Mrs Sawadi claimed during the trial  that her nephew was like a son to her and claimed she even breast fed him when he was a baby. Hmm, that didn’t help her one little bit! What Saudi Arabia needs are washing machines so these poor women can be liberated!!!!!!

Wait Just a Minute : Hmm,interesting, I went on the Amnesty International website to see if there was a helpful link for people who were outraged by this story and found this “Amnesty International does not currently have a presence in this country”.Eyebrow raise! So Wiki will have to do Human Rights in Saudi Arabia.

Ewh, the estranged wife of a Muslim New York TV studio exec, Muzzammil Hassan, has been found beheaded in his office. Police have arrested Mr Hassan and charged him with second-degree murder. Aasiya Z. Hassan had recently filed for divorced from hubby citing “cruel and inhuman treatment,” (boy, she wasn’t wrong there!).I am sensing some anger management issues.Police aren’t ruling out it being an honor killing.
Ooh and here is a sprinkle of irony, Mr Hassan founded Bridges TV to counter anti-Islam stereotypes. He said during the opening of the station in 2004 “Every day on television we are barraged by stories of a ‘Muslim extremist, militant, terrorist, or insurgent,’.But the stories that are missing are the countless stories of Muslim tolerance, progress, diversity, service and excellence that Bridges TV hopes to tell.” Hmm.

NOTE : I am unsure why he is being charged with second degree instead of first degree murder? Second degree is defined by “an intentional killing that is not premeditated or planned, nor committed in a reasonable heat of passion”. Hard to imagine a beheading not being premeditated!

Lordy, lordy, you know the world is in deep shit when elevator music people file for bankruptcy. Does this mean we will be in the cube of silence and forced to talk to strangers? Richard Clayderman and Kenny G must be weeping in their Wheaties. The whole elevator music phenomenon began in the 1930’s when U.S. Army General George Squier piped music into elevators to drown out the racket they made. Since then they have discovered that elevator music helps productivity (go figure). So much so that in the 1970’s retail outlets decided to adopt the elevator music idea and pipe it through their stores. Piped music is said to increase productivity, keep potential customers in the stores longer and keeps B grade muso’s in their mansions. Muzak (before its demise) supplied over 2 million songs to retail outlets from Maccas to Walmart with over 100 million people listening to it each day. Whoa, now it will be just the sound of silence (bummer). Oh well, I guess who needs productivity when there ain’t no jobs ?

Holy exploding phones Batman, why wasn’t I told? It’s bad enough I have to hold my cell phone a foot away from my ear (and friggin shout) to avoid brain tumors but now they friggin explode! Seems a shop assistant blew up after he changed a battery in his cell phone at a computer shop in Guangzhou, China. Please, please, please, don’t let it be a Nokia! An employee told police the assistant placed his mobile phone in his breast pocket them BOOM! The explosion caused a sever in the major artery of his neck. No word on the type, make or brand of the cell phone or battery but police suspect they were probably both counterfeit.  Whew. I can hear a collective sigh of relief from Nokia, Samsung, iPhone etc…Imagine their friggin warning labels now!

Oh crap, how does one escape from this friggin predicament? Yes, a motorist got a Rocky Mountain high when his van skidded off an icy mountain road in Colorado and ended up dangling precariously from a cliff edge. A terrified Daniel Lyons, who was now bonding with his van 170ft above the ground, climbed onto the backseat in attempt to balance the vehicle which was rocking back and forth. When a rescue crew arrived they found the poor dude cowering in the swaying vehicle. Eventually they were able to extract the friggin lucky Daniel from his potential death trap and airlift him to a nearby hospital where he was treated for minor injures and a bucket load of stress. Park Superintendent Joan Anzelmo said: “It’s truly a miracle. Another few inches or a foot and that car would have continued on to the base of the canyon. No one survives those types of accidents.” (that’s nice and reassuring).

People, eating blowfish testicles is wrong, OK! Hmm, this is what seven Japanese  discovered after eating the deadly delicacy. They are all now in hospital unable to feel their hands or legs. OK, it was tempting I must say, raw blowfish and their baked testes, but it is hell dangerous (Japanese roulette). With a nice tempting name, fugu, if not prepared properly it can lead the diner to an early grave (in minutes). To make matters worse the restaurant in question, did not have a licence from the provincial administration which is absolutely necessary. The blowfish contains tetrodotoxin in its organs, an evil neurotoxin that can cause death in minutes if not removed by an experience chef. Death by blowfish happens at least three times a year in Japan. Why the hell would anyone eat something so dangerous you say? Well it has long been rumored that if by some chance you die, it is customary that the chef commits hari kari (supposedly this is the insurance that the meal will be safe). The restaurant in question was called Kibunya located in Tsuruoka, an old castle town by the Sea of Japan (just in case you were interested).

Ooh a tad creepy. A little girl in Zambia has been born with a unformed parasitic twin protruding from her butt (I kid you not). Hmm, two feet can be clearly seen dangling from her bottom. Faith Mwampe, now 18 months old, will be having surgery to remove the deformed twins feet this week. The docs who delivered Faith were so shocked when she was born they hid her from her mother Mercy Lenganji for several hours, fearing she wouldn’t cope. Hmm, mom was OK, but it was Faith’s father who freaked out and rushed from the hospital never to return.Mercy had been told she was expecting twins and no one , not even the doctors, were suspecting this.Professor Mukonge from the University Teaching Hospital in Lusaka will be performing the risky surgery with the Zambian Government footing most of the bill for the operation (hey, that government rocks!).