I guess if you are going to lose a wheel, the runway is a good as any place to have it fall off.Yes, the nose wheel of a Virgin Blue plane fell off as it was taxiing to the runway at Melbourne airport. The cause of the lost wheel has been blamed on corrosion of the axle and not on human error. Oh goodie, like that is suppose to make the 130 or so passengers feel better. Hmm, and you have plane inspections why? Because doesn’t corrosion happen over a long period of time ? Anywho, planes fixed and back in the air.
Ooh and speaking of planes being coffee grounded, a Southwest Airlines plane made n emergency landing after a flight attendant reported a suspicious smell. Hmm, that would be the coffee coming from a coffee maker at the back of the plane people. Whoops, My bad?

Check out this hell landing …..

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Only in Japan does it take nearly 30 years to realize that two traffic signals at a T junction have simultaneously been turning green for about seven seconds at a time . Yes, that’s right people 30 years. Hmm, seems a programming error was to blame for this “accident waiting to happen” but nobody seemed to have noticed (gosh, they are so polite).Hmm, that was until recently when that  accident did happen and the drivers both claimed to have had green lights. When authorities investigated the accident it was found that they were right, no one had checked the programming since they were installed in 1980.  Get this, the police have admitted the error was entirely due to their negligence. Not only that ,they have apologized to the drivers, compensated them for the FULL cost of damage to both cars and have removed one of the signals. That is more news worthy than the friggin green lights debacle!

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Is it my shout?

You know what I hate? When a friggin rabid bobcat walks into a bar and starts throwing its weight around (its bad enough dealing with cougars!). Hmm, yep the unfriendly critter just waltzed in to a Cottonwood bar in Arizona and began terrorizing the patrons. At first it was kind of funny but the bemused patrons soon realized the bobcat wasn’t there for a social drink. They slowly stepped away from their beers when the beast began showing signs of anti-social behavior (hmm, like friggin foaming at the mouth and dancing to Britney Spears!). The patrons were soon gathering atop the pool table, defending themselves with pool sticks (bet they’d seen Cujo!). One poor dude had the bobcat latch onto his face. I hear rabies shots hurt like hell! Enter Cottonwood police. The poor bobcat was shot and tests later confirmed it had rabies.  Hmm, how long do you think before the Chapparal Bar will be selling rabid shooters?

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Hi, Im cured

Oh bless, Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe has been recommended for release from Broadmoor. Yippee he’s cured, well done. Mr Sutcliffe is the guy who murdered 13 women and scared the shit out of 7 others during his 5 year reign of terror during the late 70’s & early 80’s. Doctors are confident that Pete is right and ready to go. All that is needed now is Jack Straw’s stamp of approval and the Ripper will be back amongst us (simply superb). The Sun who was the first to break the news to us, says the doctor treating The Ripper says his greatest fear is not the risk the Ripper poses to the public, but the risk THEY pose to HIS safety because of enduring anger over his horrific crimes. Oh bless, so sensitive to his needs too. Yes, I am sure the good doc will recommend a “Witness Protection” type procedure to be put in place so the serial killer will be protected from the public (yes, good, we can’t be having him fret). Hmm, and lets see, if by any chance the rehabilitated serial killer falls off the wagon who will be taking responsibility for that then? Hmm, lets just hope he doesn’t get the urge to use a ball pein hammer, a sharpened screwdriver or a knife anytime soon.
Wanna read the whole story click here The Sun .

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Staff at Derby’s new Royal Hospital in England have called in an exorcist after being terrorized by a friggin ghost.The black clad, cloak wearing spook has been haunting the corridors of the newly built hospital for months. One nurse said “Several have seen a male figure cloaked from head to toe in black darting between rooms and through walls – especially in departments near the morgue.” Mr Jerry Phillips claims he saw the ghost in 1978  in the old hospital and it scared the bejesus out of him,“He was cloaked in black from head to foot clasping a candle — it was bone-chilling.”  Members of  the night shift staff now work in pairs after one nurse took “spook leave” after being scared near out of her witts. Hmm, well that’s what you get when you build over historical sites. It seems developers ignored protesters pleas to avoid building over one of Britain’s Ancient Roman roads (whoops). Spook experts believe the unwelcome guest is more than likely a Roman soldier killed on the site. Hmm, so I am assuming the priest will be performing the exorcism in Latin then? “Requiescat in pace” dude.
Wanna see the video? Click if you dare?

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Another fine mess!

Oh crap, how does one escape from this friggin predicament? Yes, a motorist got a Rocky Mountain high when his van skidded off an icy mountain road in Colorado and ended up dangling precariously from a cliff edge. A terrified Daniel Lyons, who was now bonding with his van 170ft above the ground, climbed onto the backseat in attempt to balance the vehicle which was rocking back and forth. When a rescue crew arrived they found the poor dude cowering in the swaying vehicle. Eventually they were able to extract the friggin lucky Daniel from his potential death trap and airlift him to a nearby hospital where he was treated for minor injures and a bucket load of stress. Park Superintendent Joan Anzelmo said: “It’s truly a miracle. Another few inches or a foot and that car would have continued on to the base of the canyon. No one survives those types of accidents.” (that’s nice and reassuring).

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Ignore it and it will go away!

Holy flamin asteroids Batman. Dear god, forget about the financial mess the world is in, we have more pressing problems, friggin asteroids (as if we don’t have enough to worry about). Scientists have told the UN delegations in Vienna that, despite it being a relatively slight risk of an asteroid collision, it would have devastating consequences and we need to act now. They also threw in, for good measure (and fear of course), the fact that 65 million years ago the dinos and just about everything else that had a heartbeat was annihilated the last time a whopping asteroid came to town. So what do the scientists want? Hmm, they are pushing for an international network to be set up to search the skies for potential incomings.The network would be responsible for sending up spacecraft to destroy or at least deflect any big chunk of flying rock coming our way. I swear I saw Bruce Willis in a similar plot line. Well, I guess the scientists might have to wait a while, as the United Nations are pretty busy with their billion dollar UN Headquarters refurbishment project and their big friggin $23 million ceiling mural. Did I mention the people starving in Africa? Ha, the UN didn’t either!I can’t imagine the clunky old space shuttles would be of any use shooting down asteroids.Maybe they should just put a rocket launcher on the International Space Station and be happy with that! George Bush is just praying that a friggin asteroid doesn’t hit earth before 21st January. That would be the icing on the cake for his friggin legacy list.

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Michael Campbell, you can’t be a criminal and have a tattoo face fetish, it just doesn’t work. Now even blind Freddy can identify you in a line up for goodness sakes. And dude makeup ain’t gonna cover that! And is it me or does that dot on the end of your nose make you look like a mouse. You’re gonna be one freaky dude when you are in a retirement village. Convicted thief and all around bad dude made the transformation over a 5 year period. How painful is that going to be if he ever wants it removed? hmm, I wonder if Michael really thought this through?. Here are the before and after mugshots…Smoking Gun broke the story, well done guys for friggin spotting it !

Are you sure its the same dude?

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OK, I am sorry, but I must make a comment about the 15 toothbrushes found on the hijacked vessel carrying the Mumbai terrorists. There is something quite disturbing to know that those monsters even bothered to brush their teeth. I would have thought the last thing they would have been thinking about was dental hygene. Ah, maybe their mommies packed their rucksacks? But whatever the circustances it is pretty clear there are as many as five more of these friggin madmen out there.

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Friggin terrorists. The Mumbai massacre is yet another example of a world gone completely mad. Whilst I was glued to CNN for 72 hours, another TV channel in India had some interesting footage of the terrorists walking through the streets of Mumbai armed and dangerous. Wanna see it?…

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