Nice gammelfleischparty Bob!

OK, if you have a ‘gammelfleischparty’ it pretty much means you’re having an thirty something get together. Translated it means ’spoiled meat party’ and refers to people over thirty having a party. This word was the winner of the publishers of Langenscheidt dictionaries poll for the ‘youth word of 2008? in Germany. In second place was the word  ‘Bildschirmbraeune’ translated to mean ’screen tan’ which refers to the pale complexion you get from sitting too long in front of a computer. And in third place was the word ‘unterhopft’ translated to mean ‘underhopped’ and refers to someone in desperate need of a beer.

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Miami, we got it and we flaunt it !

The survey all of America dreads, the annual Travel and Leisure magazine’s “America’s Favorite Cities”. The results are in and here goes. The beautiful people live in Miami . The ugliest evidently reside in Philly (note this will be Philadelphia’s second year at the bottom of the ugly pile). If you want a wild weekend, high tail it to Las Vegas or New Orleans (out of hurricane season ). LA was voted having the most unfriendliest and dumbest citizens of the US (thanks a lot Paris!), with Seattle having the smartest. New York was at the bottom for peace and quiet. Santa Fe, sucks for nightlife. Portland is the goddam cleanliest. And if you have a problem with the results complain to the 125,000 people who participated in the survey.

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Who Us ?

If you are considering buying a pooch I suggest you avoid a Great Dane or a Chihuahua evidently they are the most destructive of the canines and will cause you the most grief. According to a British survey they are the lost likeliest to crap on your carpets, eat your sofa and chew the heck out of anything left lying around. And all you Mastiff, Basset Hound and Whippet owners don’t you snicker your dogs are next! One Chihuahua breeder came leaping to the little pooches defence “Alright they can be quite feisty little things and they sometimes chew things and scratch wallpaper, but what dog doesn’t?” she said. Wallpaper fiends, how awful.The survey concluded that if you purchase a Great Dane expect to pay around $1400 worth of damages.

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Researchers in the US think they have discovered why those friggin flies are so hard to swat and it ain’t good news. It seems the fly has a fast responding brain with the ability to think ahead. Can you believe it, they preempt the swat and at the same time work out an exit strategy (hmm remind you of any politicians?). The fly can get out of the way within 100 milliseconds of spotting the swatter. So the bottom line is to  creep up on them nice and slow and then swat, slap, clap or kick  ahead (I repeat ahead) of where you think it is going to fly.Evidently flies can not sense slow movement so take your time. Now Aussie’s have known this for years and flies Down Under have learnt very quick, they tend to fly backwards when they see a swatter.So what Aussies do instead is they reach for a can of fly spray. Problem solved. Smart friggin flies, I think not!

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German scientists recently studied satellite photographs of 8,510 cattle in 308 herds from around the world and guess what ? They discovered that 2 out of 3 cows/cattle pointed either north or south when grazing or sleeping. Does this mean I just buy a cow instead of a GPS ?

The man behind the discovery, Hynek Burda, originally set out to study people camping (that’s creepy) from Google Earth Cam to see if we all pitched our tents in certain directions, but soon realized it was too hard. That was when he turned his attention to the moo cow and discovered this phenomenon. So what does this all mean? I am not friggin sure, but it does answer a few questions about why it’s so easy to cow tip a sleeping cow . The big question I guess is should we be worrying ? Why don’t they like east and west ?

Fortunately I take solace from one dairy farmer who summed this research info up the best. When asked if he had noticed this odd behavior in his cows he replied “Absolutely not.” But, he added, “I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about stuff like that.”

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Mad Cow Survey Sucks

Whilst I am on this friggin survey thing, I just noticed a Tokyo food survey on a news feed .Now I got all excited because 29.2% of the Japanese surveyed were really concerned about catching mad cow disease and I thought hmm could mad cow be linked to those cows who don’t face either north or south ? (re : previous blog entry). But my joy was short lived when I discovered that only 306 people were surveyed from a population of 12,790,000 AND of those 306 only 195 replied ! Those people at The Tokyo Metropolitan Government’s Bureau of Social Welfare and Public Health really suck at their job (and I surveyed 2 people who agreed). Oh and for those of us trying to work out the % it’s like 0.00152% of the population.

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Cows facing magnetic north

You gotta love scientific research, surveys and studies. This week alone I have discovered; pussy cats are eating better than third world countries, people having sadomasochistic sex are much happier than people having normal sex and cattle tend to point north and south when grazing or sleeping. Hey, and that was just this week! So now that I am armed with all this friggin info what am I too do with it?
Lets take the cattle pointing north-south scenerio. German scientists studied satellite photographs of 8,510 cattle in 308 herds from around the world and discovered 2 out of 3 cows/bulls were pointing to magnetic north. Good god what does this mean, Should I be pointing magnetic north?  Is that why cows are more susceptible to alien abductions?  Is that why fresh milk is far too creamy for human consumption? Is it some weird cow religious ritual? Should I be panicking?
Fortunately I take solace from one dairy farmer who summed this research info up the best. When asked if he had noticed this odd behavior in his cows he replied “Absolutely not.” But, he added, “I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about stuff like that.”

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