Hmm, whilst we are on the subject of chooks, has anyone heard of Mike the headless chicken? Come on people, he’s got a page on Wiki for goodness sakes! OK, Miracle Mike was a very lucky or unlucky chicken (depending on how you look at it) who survived the old beheading,well sort of! Cast your mind back to 1945 on an early September morning around 6.45 in Fruita , Colorado. Farmer Lloyd Olsen, armed with an axe went out to his yard to get himself a chicken for lunch. Mike happened to be the slowest runner that day and Olsen a poor marksman. In the swing of the axe Olsen failed to totally lob off Mike’s head, well he got everything except one ear, the jugular vein and his brain cell.You guessed it, mike the headless chicken survived. A guilt ridden Olsen didn’t have the heart to kill him so he began feeding Mike food with an eyedropper by dripping it down his esophagus. Mike soon became fat, famous and rich by carving a career for the Olsen family himself as a touring sideshow act. Sadly Mike choked to death in a hotel room in 1947 while still on tour. But wait there’s more….Fruita Colorado now honor one of their most famous citizens by having the annual “Mike the Headless Chicken Day” (3rd weekend of May). Come on people its truuuuuue! Check it out Mike The Headless Chicken! Geez your a tough crowd!

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Police in Germany were stunned when they started linking DNA from 39 different murder scenes to one person, a female. Holy female serial killer Batman. The police came to the conclusion they were dealing with a bizarre female serial killer with no particular MO (modus operandi), signature, pattern.Her DNA was on bullets, bottles even a friggin biscuit. They set up a task force including hundreds of detectives to hunt the woman for over two years but couldn’t find any valuable leads. They even offered a reward in the hope of stopping the mysterious phantom serial killer’s reign of terror. Over 800 previously convicted women were questioned.Then, when they were at their wits end, a breakthrough. Detectives traced the DNA to a factory worker. Yeah a worker who packaged the friggin cotton buds used by the police to collect samples. Whoops, no serial killer just a careless employee. Put that one down to experience.

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Google Earth is becoming a friggin CCTV for alien enthusiasts. The latest image to get the “we are not alone” believers excited appeared in the town of Berkeley Heights in New Jersey (the alien was obviously lost!). ET was spotted loitering behind a bush next to a beam of light. Hmm,I hoping he wasn’t going for a leak? How embarrassing! The “alien” image was photographed on Diamond Hill Road about thirty miles from the Big Apple.Enter every friggin Strange Phenomena Expert with an opinion. What I want to know is who the hell was searching the bushes of a semi rural road in Berkeley Heights,anyways hmm? Well, one thing is for certain, it ain’t no water pumping facility.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you wanna see it right? Well, its your lucky day here are two friggin photos of ET in New Jersey. Can someone please give him a phone!

Cant I take a piss in private?

Clutching at straws people!

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It is a friggin water facility people!

Cut it out people, it isn’t a friggin UFO. Google have requested that netizens kindly stop reporting a UFO sighting on Google Earth. The object in question is the  friggin roof of an abandoned water facility in woodlands in Romania, alright! President of the Romanian UFO Network who went to investigate the unidentified object said “It is just a water pumping facility that used to supply Timisoara city in the past. There was another similar building a few miles away.” Hmm, conspiracy theorists aren’t too sure and continue to question the silvery object.  Here’s the thing, if it suddenly disappears from the satellite images friggin panic, otherwise go look for Atlantis!

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What the? Seems we have a bigger problem than Nessie after a friggin big serpent was spotted frolicking in the river Baleh in Borneo.Photographs, believed to clearly show a big snake like creature over 100ft in length, were snapped by a member of a disaster team who flew over a remote flood region. Known as Nabau by the locals (and big scary friggin critter by me) the ancient sea snake is said to had a dragon’s head, seven nostrils and the ability to transforms itself into the shapes of different animals. Great, as if I don’t have enough things to worry about! As you can imagine debate is now raging over whether these images are fake.Come on people we don’t believe it’s real, do we? Now if it was on video, maybe!  Hmm, it isn’t like Asia is renowned for faking things! Anywho I am keeping my tootsies out of waterways until further notice.

Oh come on I know you are desperate to see our little Jurassic Park wannabe….

Hmm?

Wait there’s more….

Here's hoping he aint hungry!

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Staff at Derby’s new Royal Hospital in England have called in an exorcist after being terrorized by a friggin ghost.The black clad, cloak wearing spook has been haunting the corridors of the newly built hospital for months. One nurse said “Several have seen a male figure cloaked from head to toe in black darting between rooms and through walls – especially in departments near the morgue.” Mr Jerry Phillips claims he saw the ghost in 1978  in the old hospital and it scared the bejesus out of him,“He was cloaked in black from head to foot clasping a candle — it was bone-chilling.”  Members of  the night shift staff now work in pairs after one nurse took “spook leave” after being scared near out of her witts. Hmm, well that’s what you get when you build over historical sites. It seems developers ignored protesters pleas to avoid building over one of Britain’s Ancient Roman roads (whoops). Spook experts believe the unwelcome guest is more than likely a Roman soldier killed on the site. Hmm, so I am assuming the priest will be performing the exorcism in Latin then? “Requiescat in pace” dude.
Wanna see the video? Click if you dare?

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What the hell, another friggin mythical creature washed up on a beach. OK, I had no idea about the Exmoor Beast nor how it went under the Loon’s radar, it has a wiki dedicated page for goodness sakes.But don’t you worry, I am now well up on the friggin phantom cat or as experts like to call it cryptozoological cat. Call it fiction, call it folklore, call it myth but if the Royal Marines couldn’t kill it, call it friggin elusive. Britain’s Beast of Exmoor first came to light in the 1970’s when sightings of an animal described as either a cougar or a Black Leopard were reported prowling the moors by locals.The feline was thought to be between 4 feet (1.2 m) and 8 feet (2.4 m) from nose to tail and had the amazing ability to leap over 6ft fences. In 1983 a farmer, Eric Ley, claimed he had lost over 100 sheep in a three month period. All the sheep had been killed in a violent attack to their throats.Enter a group of sharp shooters from the Royal Marines (hmm, requested by the Ministry of Agriculture). Friggin unbelievable. Even more so was the fact that several of the snipers claimed they saw the Exmoor Beast but were unable to get a clear shot as it “always moved with surrounding cover amongst hedges and woods”. In 1987 over 200 animals deaths were attributed to the Exmoor Beast. So what is the point of this rant you may ask? Hmm, well some remains of a creature have washed up on on Croyde beach and it has locals crying Exmoor Beast! Argh, evidently the carcass has razor fangs and is the size of a calf. OK, I know you want see it, click and check it out at The Sun.

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Look up in the sky, it’s a octopus? Licolnshire locals swear a glowing orb looking like an octopus came out of sky and wrecked a wind turbine over the weekend. The strange UFO was reported by several people who described it as being a orange-yellow sphere with tentacles (I hope it wasn’t another friggin helium balloon!). The next morning a 213ft fiberglass turbine was discovered in tatters. One of the £1 million turbine’s 65 ft blades was ripped clean off and another blade was left mangled.Rumors soon spread about the extra-terrestrial accident with many convinced they had been visited by aliens. Robert Palmer, chairman of East Lindsey District Council, was quick to add “I would be very interested to find out what it was. If we are being looked at by other people, by other planets, it would be interesting to find out why they have chosen this part of the country,”. Hmm, maybe Lincolnshire is in the alien best seller “1000 places to invade before you die” ? Skeptics have their own theories, like it was a construction fault. One expert suggested it may have been hit by frozen urine from a passing airplane.Oh well, just for the locals piece of mind the turbine debris has been sent to area 51 to be analysis, kidding people, it’s been sent to the manufacturers Enercon (results back next week). The truth is out there!

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Psst, over here!

Forget Bigfoot, forget Storsjoe oh and even forget creepy gnome, Sydney has the Lithgow panther. Hmm, the elusive creature which has been stalking the outskirts of Sydney for decades has been sighted over 19 times this year.Once thought to be an escaped circus animal it is now thought that there is more than just one of them. Ooh the black creature is only spotted at night and usually on lonely country roads. But the increase in sightings this year suggests that the big black cat/s are getting more active and taking bigger risks than ever before. One woman claims she has seen the beast at least 5 times in her backyard and swears it is the size of her rottweiler. There have been over 330 sightings of the Lithgow panther in the past decade including Kenthurst, Lithgow, Penrith and Appin. Cryptozoologist Rex Gilroy believes that they could be distant relatives of the extinct Thylacoleo carnifex owen (a friggin marsupial lion) and that there could be “two breeding populations of about half a dozen each”.No one has been able to get a photo of the cat let alone give it a pat!

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Wait till we turn into butterflies from hell!

What is it with Queensland, first it was the friggin bird eating spiders now its caterpillar invasion from hell? Millions upon millions of hairy “processionary” caterpillars have come a calling to Yandaran. Some residents have had to wear protective clothing as the little critter can travel up to a kilometer through the air shedding their horrid tiny hair spores along the way, causing itchy allergic reactions.One local Dallas Boothey said “I get itchy red welts and a tightness of the chest. That’s why I wear the suit which is really hot in summer. At the moment it’s like living in a horror movie that never ends.” The infestation has been chomping through just about everything and some residents say they can’t even stand still without be covered in the creepy crawlies.

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