Well just when you thought you had seen everything, along comes Urban Golf. Yep, I kid you not, take out the rules,the etiquette, the course and the friggin hole and you have Urban Golf. OK, I know what you are thinking, WTF, people whacking a ball around the neighborhood with a friggin golf stick (alarm bells). But I have it from good authorities (TwitrGolfers) that it isn’t as dangerous as it looks and it uses a special ball (suppose we should be grateful!). Come on, show a bit of enthusiasm, it’s taking the world by storm.. OK, well just Newcastle! I am sensing some skepticism here people, you aren’t buying it are you? Well the dude that is running the whole thing down under has got himself some council approval and has already had a successful Urban Golf Day. Who knows it could end up becoming an Olympic event!!! Check it out Australian Urban Golf.

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Darl, could I have a darker color so you dont see the dirt!

Schapelle Corby, ex beauty therapist and convicted Aussie drug smuggler has discovered a great way to pass away the time at the Kerobokan jail in Bali. Teach the inmates beauty tips. With 15 odd years of her sentence left to go, it may help keep her mind off things. A group have already approached authorities about setting up a beauty salon so they can run makeup courses. And wouldn’t you know it, sis Mercedes (with her recently acquired millions) has offered to supply the products for the salon, bless. I think there would nothing better for morale than looking pretty in prison.

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Les Misérables

You know kids, you could learn a lot from Indian beggars. Thousands of young beggars in India are learning a few extra languages in time  for the onslaught of tourists for next year’s Commonwealth Games in New Delhi. French and Spanish are the most popular of choice amongst child beggars. Ooh and classes have already started in Lal Quarter (popular beggar hang out).Raju Sansi, one of the teachers said: “Students are taught how to say phrases like ’I am an orphan’, ’I have not eaten for days’, ’I am ill and have no money for medicine, please help me in the name of God’.” Bless, they are also trained to identify the different currencies and their values. Yes, very important, don’t want to be short changed by some dodgy tourist.

Psst Imagine, when the kids grow up they could get a job as a telemarketer just about anywhere!

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Holy lap dancing nun Batman. Anna Nobili, has got herself a captive audience (yet again) after giving her exotic dancing and strip teasing the flick . The ex lap dancer has thrown in her bad habit for, well, a real habit and is going to perform her “Holy Dance” as a nun.The ex night club dancer became a nun after visiting the shrine of St Francis in Assisi, and has been working on her Old and New Testaments  dance moves ever since. Next week she will perform “The Bible: Day and Night” for senior Catholic clerics (including Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi, head honcho for the Vatican Cultural Department) in Rome. Sister Nobili said “I was wasting my life dancing for men in clubs. The nights were filled with sex and alcohol. It was an empty life but I liked it because I was the centre of attention.” (and dancing in front of men of the cloth will be more fulfilling?) Hmm, well you’ll definitely still be the center of attention …not too many dancing nuns to take away your thunder! Sister Nobili goes on to say “My aim is to pray using my body”.Oh dear god, my tongue is bleeding, get me to a nunnery….

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

And now OUR friggin heads are hot!

Holy disposable chopsticks Batman, Tokyo sidewalks are going wooden. The 80ft experimental wooden sidewalk has been installed in Nihombashi district to see if it helps to keep pedestrians feet cooler during summer (dear god fingers crossed). The new sidewalk is made up of chipped thin cedar, a mixture of woodchips and cement and blocks made from thinned wood. Hmm, if successful I wonder what Lebanese forest will be destroyed to pave the whole of Tokyo? The Nihombashi Miyuki Street Road Experiment Association is hoping the new wooden footpaths will release heat faster than asphalt or concrete because we know how important it is to keep our feet cool during this time of global warming! Ooh and the sidewalks are said to be more aesthetically pleasing (what, nicer than concrete?) and whats more they let off a pleasant scent of cedar which is soothing to the pedestrian (and a distraction  from car fumes). Ooh and if they give Britain a ring they may find out where to order the eco friendly chewing gum so it doesn’t stick to the wooden blocks.

Geez I hope they are fire retardant. Could be a real bummer, no more happy feet!

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Painesville, pretty in pink!

And here I was thinking it was a red sock in the laundry. People of Painesville, Ohio, it was a friggin chemical feeder malfunction, not your wives, who have turned your undies pink, I swear. Seems Painesville have a little problem with the water pouring from their faucets…it’s pink. That’s what happens when too much potassium permanganate gets released into your water supply. Hmm, don’t worry it isn’t a health risk but your whites may turn pink because it does stain (not harmful but stains?).Never you mind, your trusty Painesville water department are onto it and are this very minute frantically flushing hydrants and adding more crap into the water to clear the discoloration. Good luck with that.

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

WTF !!!!!!

You know times are tough when KFC offer to fill in America’s potholes.All hail KFC. Catch? Ah, there is always a catch. KFC in return for filling the potholes want the rights to stencil their logo over the top when completed.Thank goodness their logo aint a chook, imagine the “why did the chicken cross the road” jokes then? So far KFC have potholed Louisville in Kentucky.Other cities are still ho humming. Oh and by the way, there are an estimated 350 million of those suckers throughout the USA (how many chicken have to die….) .Good luck with that.

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Canyon West's 13th is a bitch to play now!

Canyon West Golf Club could be in deep shit and I ain’t meaning sand trap. Hmm, investigators are still on the 13th hole of Weatherford Golf Course trying to find answers to why there is a  buried bulldozer? It seems someone buried the earth moving machine underneath the fairway some 14 odd years ago. Accident? I don’t think so! After a tip off the Texas Department of Public Safety, the Tarrant Regional Auto Crimes Task Force and the National Insurance Crime Bureau invaded the course and took shovels to the 13th . There they found themselves a 9,000 pound Ford rubber tire loader buried 10 feet under. Ewh dear, golf club owners, Stan Mickle and his father, Wes Mickle, are the likely suspects. It is thought the equipment was stolen and then used to build the course before being disposed of after the job was completed! Oh no, even worse, investigators are now checking to see if the Mickles reported the bulldozer stolen to claim insurance (surely not!). It is estimated that the dozer would have cost between $40,000 to $50,000 at the time.Fore!!!!

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Angel Galvan-Hernandez begged the judge to give him the death sentence rather than send him to jail where he could be raped. Hmm, quite ironic considering he is a friggin rapist and was found guilty of two counts of first degree rape. Yep, the pint sized crim would rather die than suffer the humiliation and pain of being raped in jail. Hmm, I wonder what was going through Judge Julie Spector ’s mind when she  handed down a 20 year sentence? I know I would be smirking. Galvan-Hernandez raped and bashed a homeless woman with a chunk of concrete and then a few days later raped another woman in a 45 minute ordeal. Soap-on-a-rope for you Angel!

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Thank god you aren't kosher

Holy salt on my fries Batman. Retired barber Joe Godlewski from Cresaptown Maryland, was sick and tired of chefs forever referring to kosher salt in their recipes,so he came up with Blessed Christian Salt. I kid you not. Hmm, no it isn’t more pure or boasts magical powers, its just blessed salt. That’s right it has been blessed by an Episcopal priest and will be available at all good Christian outlets soon. And what do the Jews think of this new salt? Hmm, Rabbi Sholem Fishbane (kosher administrator) said that marketing Christian salt as an alternative to kosher salt reflects, at best, ignorance about Jewish dietary laws because basically all salt is kosher. Yeah, but does kosher salt have big red crosses on its packaging? Christian salt will!
Godlewski is so ecstatic about his alternative salt he is planning a Christian branded food range (can’t wait, no guilt chocolate?). Oh and don’t you worry Rabbis that Mr Godlewski is having a go, he says “There’s no anti-Semitism. I love Jesus Christ and he was a Jew.” Well praise the Lord! Alright, alright, wanna know where to get your blessed salt? You sure now? OK, check it out right here Blessed Christian Salt. Oh and just remember a percentage of the proceeds will be donated to charity. Don’t ask me which charities, I haven’t a clue!

Friggin Bookmark It

Hide Sites