As if he wasn’t humiliated enough with his 150 year sentenced, now Bernie Madoff’s lover has written a tell all which includes a nice chunky paragraph (or two) about his small penis! Money, freedom and now not even his family jewels are worth a thing! Here is a little excerpt “Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference.” Geez, embarrassed much? Oh and wait, there’s  more “His tiny penis hadn’t prevented me from climaxing”.  Hmm, I guess where Bernie is now size doesn’t matter so much! Soap-on-a-rope Bernie, soap-on-a-rope!

Psst Way to go to get your money back Sheryl! I hope the book sells enough to repay your family who lost their money to the penile challenged ass.

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That ain't helping!!

Geez, first you become the new queen of the track, next thing you know you are being accused of being a man! Could life get any better? Seems some of Caster Semenya’s rivals aren’t too happy she won the 800m nor the fact she looks suspiciously like a man. Bummer! The 18 year old will now be required to undergo a gender test to dispel rumors and accusations. The relative rise from obscurity to become the women’s 800m world champion has more than raised a few eyebrows, especially as she eclipsed defending champion Janeth Jepkosgei by over 2 and half seconds. Results will be in, in about two weeks, but for Semenya I am thinking it really is a lose/lose situation. If it is proven she is a man, she will face the humiliation that only scandal brings and if the results prove she really is a woman, well she will have to face a whole different kind of humiliation.

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Well just when you thought you had seen everything, along comes Urban Golf. Yep, I kid you not, take out the rules,the etiquette, the course and the friggin hole and you have Urban Golf. OK, I know what you are thinking, WTF, people whacking a ball around the neighborhood with a friggin golf stick (alarm bells). But I have it from good authorities (TwitrGolfers) that it isn’t as dangerous as it looks and it uses a special ball (suppose we should be grateful!). Come on, show a bit of enthusiasm, it’s taking the world by storm.. OK, well just Newcastle! I am sensing some skepticism here people, you aren’t buying it are you? Well the dude that is running the whole thing down under has got himself some council approval and has already had a successful Urban Golf Day. Who knows it could end up becoming an Olympic event!!! Check it out Australian Urban Golf.

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Notice anything wrong with this graphic? Seems, everyone except Fox News missed Egypt’s sneaky little overthrow of Iraq. While the rest of the world had their eyeballs focusing on Kim Jong Il and Imadinnerjacket, Egypt did a little shock and awe themselves. Well, that’s that, troops should be home by the end of the week. Meanwhile, as CNN continue to kick themselves for completely missing the overthrow, reports are coming out of the cafeteria that  Christiane Amanpour is inconsolable.

Psst Rumors are Geraldo was behind the breaking news after receiving a tip from a reliable source.

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OK, my original story was going to be about the Muff Road sign in New Zealand and how the residents are really pissed that people keep stealing it as a souvenir. So as I normally do, I did some research on the word muff, which is sometimes used to describe a woman’s vagina. It was here my story took a sudden and shocking deviation. Dear god, has anyone been on the Vulva Wiki page? Big friggin warning before you click people….no seriously…I wouldn’t look if you have a heart condition or embarrass easily. OK, on the count…one…two…three. …http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muff_(genitals) .

Oh and isn’t the message priceless…

Honey, can you stand still so I can get a nice sharp reliable reference! And what’s with the “needs additional verification? Nope I think it’s a vulva. Geez and to think the topless nun is worried about her pic being posted on Facebook! I’d be grabbing a lawyer love, whoever you are!

Psst That is way too much information, even for Wiki!

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Hmm, thats easy to remember, cool!

Here’s the thing people, when your contract for a Brazilian Labor Ministry website isn’t renewed, don’t be messing with the passwords. Hmm, Labor Minister Carlos Lupi has been left redfaced after it was discovered that unemployed people who logged onto the government website were given passwords such as “shameless” and “bum”! The website was built and managed by a private company for the purpose of assisting  jobless people in finding info about their benefits. I’m guessing when the company’s contract wasn’t renewed they got nasty or funny (depending on how you see it!).

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OK, promise not to laugh..no I mean it…promise? A City Councilman in Riverside has successfully canvased to have the name of a street changed. Yep, Wong Way is no more. Mike Gardner thought the name was disrespectful and sent the wrong message to Chinese immigrants, despite it being named after the late George Wong who was the last person to live in the city’s former Chinatown. The short little road was originally named in 1961 and is located near the old Chinese section of town but to many the name has long been considered a joke rather than an honor. So now Wong Way has been renamed…wait for it…Wong Street (like that’s any better!). George Street Mike, George Street!!

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Hmm, whilst we are on the subject of chooks, has anyone heard of Mike the headless chicken? Come on people, he’s got a page on Wiki for goodness sakes! OK, Miracle Mike was a very lucky or unlucky chicken (depending on how you look at it) who survived the old beheading,well sort of! Cast your mind back to 1945 on an early September morning around 6.45 in Fruita , Colorado. Farmer Lloyd Olsen, armed with an axe went out to his yard to get himself a chicken for lunch. Mike happened to be the slowest runner that day and Olsen a poor marksman. In the swing of the axe Olsen failed to totally lob off Mike’s head, well he got everything except one ear, the jugular vein and his brain cell.You guessed it, mike the headless chicken survived. A guilt ridden Olsen didn’t have the heart to kill him so he began feeding Mike food with an eyedropper by dripping it down his esophagus. Mike soon became fat, famous and rich by carving a career for the Olsen family himself as a touring sideshow act. Sadly Mike choked to death in a hotel room in 1947 while still on tour. But wait there’s more….Fruita Colorado now honor one of their most famous citizens by having the annual “Mike the Headless Chicken Day” (3rd weekend of May). Come on people its truuuuuue! Check it out Mike The Headless Chicken! Geez your a tough crowd!

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And that was just the needle!

Ouch, who’d want to be a man in Botswana. All hail Ministry of Health! They have just announced that they will be circumcising nearly half a million men in an effort to curb the spread of HIV over the next 5 years. Reason? Studies have revealed that circumcised men are 2 to 3 times less likely to contract HIV. The government is already running TV and radio campaigns to encourage men to visit clinics for  safe circumcision procedures (what are they likely to do it themselves?). Hmm that could be an awfully hard sell!

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A man walks into a Deveroes store in Dayton and proceeds to steal clothes off the racks, stuffing them up his shirt and in his pants. Before making a getaway he notices a pile of job application forms on the front counter, so he decides to fill one out. Heck, why not he knows the stuff they have is worth stealing, right? Unfortunately for Stanley Wright, the friggin alarms went off when he tried leaving the store.The staff promptly rang police after Mr Wright fled and gave them  the application form which he had neatly filled out with his name and address. When they came a knocking Mr Wright was busily ironing one of the pairs of jeans he had stolen.

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