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By Friggin Loon on July 21, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
OK, my original story was going to be about the Muff Road sign in New Zealand and how the residents are really pissed that people keep stealing it as a souvenir. So as I normally do, I did some research on the word muff, which is sometimes used to describe a woman’s vagina. It was here my story took a sudden and shocking deviation. Dear god, has anyone been on the Vulva Wiki page? Big friggin warning before you click people….no seriously…I wouldn’t look if you have a heart condition or embarrass easily. OK, on the count…one…two…three. …http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muff_(genitals) .
Oh and isn’t the message priceless…
Honey, can you stand still so I can get a nice sharp reliable reference! And what’s with the “needs additional verification? Nope I think it’s a vulva. Geez and to think the topless nun is worried about her pic being posted on Facebook! I’d be grabbing a lawyer love, whoever you are!
Psst That is way too much information, even for Wiki!
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By Friggin Loon on July 21, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Only in Japan does it take nearly 30 years to realize that two traffic signals at a T junction have simultaneously been turning green for about seven seconds at a time . Yes, that’s right people 30 years. Hmm, seems a programming error was to blame for this “accident waiting to happen” but nobody seemed to have noticed (gosh, they are so polite).Hmm, that was until recently when that accident did happen and the drivers both claimed to have had green lights. When authorities investigated the accident it was found that they were right, no one had checked the programming since they were installed in 1980. Get this, the police have admitted the error was entirely due to their negligence. Not only that ,they have apologized to the drivers, compensated them for the FULL cost of damage to both cars and have removed one of the signals. That is more news worthy than the friggin green lights debacle! -
By Friggin Loon on July 21, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Hmm, are gloves supplied?
OK, before I go any further, does anyone know why the hell Chinese buses supply passengers with objects to break the windows with? Hmm, I’m just curious is all! Is there something we should know? What’s wrong with the old karate kick to the back window? Well, anywho the safety hammers have been given the flick due to the high rate of theft . Yes, so now if you need to break a window the Harbin Public Transport Company are supplying brightly painted yellow bricks (because no one wants to steal a big friggin brick).Try hurling that sucker at a window and see you dont get concussion! The big friggin bus bricks will be on selected buses for a trial period and if the public are happy, the big yellow bricks will be supplied to all 700 of their buses.
Psst Now go on, say what you are thinking. If our buses had big friggin yellow bricks on board, homicide on public transport would treble!
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By Friggin Loon on July 21, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Come on guys, its foolproof!
Come on people, it could have worked! A British gang of wannabe pirates have been caught after making their getaway on a punt (which has a top speed of 3mph). The clueless bunch had decided to paddle to the Haven boatyard in Cambridgeshire under the cover of darkness and rob the place. Having successfully loaded the flat bottomed boat with two flatscreen televisions, a DVD player, two electricity generators and copious amounts of alcohol, all they had to do was get the hell out of there. Hmm, I guess they didn’t expect police with night-vision goggles to spot them slowly floating down the River Ouse. No chance of a speedy getaway that way boys and girl! Shall I name and shame them? What the hell, why not. Take a bow (no pun intended) James Parkinson, Khushmet Bardell , Rachel Helleur and the 17 year old dude who was too young to be named!
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By Friggin Loon on July 21, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Hmm, thats easy to remember, cool!
Here’s the thing people, when your contract for a Brazilian Labor Ministry website isn’t renewed, don’t be messing with the passwords. Hmm, Labor Minister Carlos Lupi has been left redfaced after it was discovered that unemployed people who logged onto the government website were given passwords such as “shameless” and “bum”! The website was built and managed by a private company for the purpose of assisting jobless people in finding info about their benefits. I’m guessing when the company’s contract wasn’t renewed they got nasty or funny (depending on how you see it!).
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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
This is funny… deep down I am hoping it wasn’t done deliberately.
Hmm, know something we dont
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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
OK, promise not to laugh..no I mean it…promise? A City Councilman in Riverside has successfully canvased to have the name of a street changed. Yep, Wong Way is no more. Mike Gardner thought the name was disrespectful and sent the wrong message to Chinese immigrants, despite it being named after the late George Wong who was the last person to live in the city’s former Chinatown. The short little road was originally named in 1961 and is located near the old Chinese section of town but to many the name has long been considered a joke rather than an honor. So now Wong Way has been renamed…wait for it…Wong Street (like that’s any better!). George Street Mike, George Street!! -
By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Geez that Arnie!
So California State Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger does have a sense of humor. No girlie man envy here. The governator sent Senate President Darrell Steinberg a sculpture of bull testicles. Yes, melon sized bull’s balls. The little joke was intended as a friendly reminder to the Democratic-controlled State Senate to be tough on decisions to be made about the budget.
The gift was also in response to the bag of mushrooms given to Arnie after he called the Democrats’ budget proposals,’hallucinatory’.And so now, hows about a solution to the $24.3 billion budget shortfall children?
Psst Hey Ann, I wonder if they feel like elbows?
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By Friggin Loon on June 20, 2009 | No Friggin Comments
Hmm, whilst we are on the subject of chooks, has anyone heard of Mike the headless chicken? Come on people, he’s got a page on Wiki for goodness sakes! OK, Miracle Mike was a very lucky or unlucky chicken (depending on how you look at it) who survived the old beheading,well sort of! Cast your mind back to 1945 on an early September morning around 6.45 in Fruita , Colorado. Farmer Lloyd Olsen, armed with an axe went out to his yard to get himself a chicken for lunch. Mike happened to be the slowest runner that day and Olsen a poor marksman. In the swing of the axe Olsen failed to totally lob off Mike’s head, well he got everything except one ear, the jugular vein and his brain cell.You guessed it, mike the headless chicken survived. A guilt ridden Olsen didn’t have the heart to kill him so he began feeding Mike food with an eyedropper by dripping it down his esophagus. Mike soon became fat, famous and rich by carving a career for the Olsen family himself as a touring sideshow act. Sadly Mike choked to death in a hotel room in 1947 while still on tour. But wait there’s more….Fruita Colorado now honor one of their most famous citizens by having the annual “Mike the Headless Chicken Day” (3rd weekend of May). Come on people its truuuuuue! Check it out Mike The Headless Chicken! Geez your a tough crowd!
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By Friggin Loon on May 13, 2009 | 1 Friggin Comment
Well, ladies have I got the perfect gift for you, the “Angels Knee Pillow” or as the Japanese like to call it Tenshi no Hizamakura. Some narky little housewife must have come up with this one. It’s a toilet knee stool for men. Yep, it is designed for men to kneel whilst peeing, giving them less distance to miss the friggin bowl. No more cleaning that toilet seat ladies! Kneeling whilst pissing makes it that much harder for men to spray all over the place. So much more hygenic. Ooh and wait for it…it comes in two diffent styles the “eco” bench ($50) or the deluxe DX two piece ($60). Can’t wait to see hubby’s face when he unwraps one of those for Christmas.
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