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By frigginloon on August 15, 2008 | 1 Friggin Comment
First there was the Montauk Monster rocking up on the shores of New York’s Long Island uninvited, looking all weird , like some bloated dead dog with a beak. It instantly had the animal community and the world in a tizz. Now it seems they have a friggin Bigfoot in a box. When will it stop? Yep, a dead Bigfoot is said to be on ice after Bigfoot hunters discovered it, in all places, Georgia. I am certainly hoping they didn’t shoot the creature, because PETA will be none too happy. The big, red headed, beast will be DNA tested and a press conference is planned for the 15th August. Damn that is tomorrow. Certainly hope it is hoax because I don’t want these friggin creatures rocking up at my window at night!
UPDATE : As suspected Bigfoot is a hoax or the US government want us to believe it is. Last I heard Bigfoot (and the freezer) were being placed in storage next to little green alien in Area 51 !
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By frigginloon on August 14, 2008 | 2 Friggin Comments
Yang Peiyi Deemed Too Ugly
Oh dear, not since Milli Vanilli has there been such a scandal. Poor little Chinese girl singer,Yang Peiyi, was deemed too ugly to appear at the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony so she was replaced by a miming cutie, despite her magnificent voice. It seemed like a simple case of “voice of an angel, face of the devil” . When I heard the story on the radio I thought she must be really, really ugly or as I say genetically challenged for Chinese authorities to do that. I could virtually see producers of Extreme Makeover rubbing their hands in delight over this one. But the killer was the PR spin, that is China, stated it was done in the nations best interest. Gee, how much therapy will she be going through in the coming years. It is bad enough thinking your ugly but to have a billion people agree hmmm. All I can say is thank god for the one child policy in China (too many issues not enough therapists). Imagine my surprise when I finally caught a glimpse of the “too ugly for TV” kid. Obviously the officials ain’t seen my school photos nor a glimpse of half the athletes at the Olympic village!
While we’re are on the Friggin Olympics, did anyone spot the fireworks being a fake? Hell, I was still wondering how they got the Olympic torch to the top of Everest when they slipped that one in.
Whoops, it was suppose to be funny!
Oh and my favorite Olympic moment, thanks to the Spanish basketball team. This photo appeared as a full page ad in a Spanish newspaper. What’s the color red? Someone should have told them that the Chinese don’t have a sense of humor. This is up there with the athletes who posed as disabled basketball players and won a medal a few years back.
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By frigginloon on August 9, 2008 | 1 Friggin Comment
Ok, here is what happened when a study was done on a leg bone from a 38,000 year old Neanderthal. It kinda proved that Neanderthals didn’t breed with humans? Hell, I could have told you that, have you had a good look at one, recently?. I wouldn’t even go on a date with one, let alone think about sex! But that is not to say I haven’t met a few in my time.
These short, ugly, robust guys were roaming around Europe some 300,000 years ago, but as soon as us humans (or homosapiens, as scientists like to call us) migrated to the area some 250,000 years later, they disappeared (go figure, we do have standards!). Original conclusion was that “us” and “them” bred, thus creating a hybrid population (which would explain the old “throwback” theory). But now scientists are saying nup, they didn’t interbreed at all, but most probably died from disease.
Which makes it so much harder to explain some of my relatives. -
By frigginloon on August 9, 2008 | No Friggin Comments
It is all in the timing. Why, oh, why didn’t John Edwards confess about his affair during the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Hasn’t anyone told him that is the best way to avoid too much attention. Hell, it worked for Clay Aiken. His new baby with a 50 year old went straight under the radar, timing, timing, timing.
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By frigginloon on August 6, 2008 | No Friggin Comments
When will Scotty get to his final frontier? It seems they are having trouble beaming up poor Scotty (aka James Doohan), well, his ashes at least. Word out is that the company, Celestis, who offers “Explorer Flight” space burial services is having a little bit of trouble launching 208 people’s remains into outer space. Captain Kirk would have been horrified . Evidently, James Doohan, along with Gordon Cooper (original Mercury 7 crew member) and 206 others are lost (well bits of them) after a botched mission. A trekkie collectors dream. Imagine having Scotty on your mantelpiece!. Sadly this ain’t the first time Doohan’s family have tried to complete his wish. Doohan died in 2005 and the family have had several attempts (not to mention funeral services) to get Scotty where no man has been before, well, with Celestis anyway !
Bless, Celestis statement reads in part “If the remains are not recovered from this launch, the company has backup supplies that it arranges when it acquires the remains”. Ewww they are only beaming up a bit of Scotty ! I am hoping the 208 people aren’t in one urn (devalues it on eBay).
Now here is a thought, how come no one was aware that an out of control spacecraft was going to crash somewhere on earth? I think the media should be more interested in the fact that I (along with many others) could have been killed by a B grade actor. And don’t give me that crap about them knowing we were all safe, they have no clue where it crashed.
UPDATE : Trekkies stop looking, Scotty has been found. Yep, the ashes have been found in mountains in the US state of New Mexico along with the 200 other people’s ashes. Oh well, I guess they won’t be on eBay anytime soon!
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By frigginloon on July 31, 2008 | No Friggin Comments
When something doesn’t look right, you should take heed. The new search engine Cuil, is friggin NOT. Firstly, use a “real word” so my spell checker can get a day off, secondly use a friendly background so I don’t feel as though I am about to enter a porn site and thirdly test before you launch dahh!
This is how much I like Cuil, I would go to a public library before ever going back onto Cuil to search for something. You know we love hating Google, but if this is our best alternative we are in deep cyberspace. A library without an index system is like, well Cuil! Lets just hope they aren’t using the public to sort out all the glitches!!! Lucky I didn’t buy any shares in this dot com.
Apprentice search engine…..YOU’RE FIRED !
I am nominating Cuil for the 2008 Friggin Loon Award.
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By frigginloon on June 19, 2008 | 1 Friggin Comment
Friggin feet washing up on beaches in Canada, what next? I can see it now the movie deal starring Anthony Hopkins and sponsored by Nike or Reebok of course. The thing that makes it so creepy is the fact the feet are all nicely snug in socks and sneakers. Not Jimmy Choo shoes or Prada’s, nope just good old runners. But what I don’t get is why just one shoe? Given currents and the number of them (6 so far, whoops make that 5, 6th was a hoax) you would think you would get a matching pair at some stage ? But no, different feet, different shoes (and except for one, all right feet). Is it like a message in a bottle for a serial killer, he just sends a foot bobbing down the river hoping some poor person discovers it. Even though forensics say it doesn’t appear the feet have been severed I am thinking that is purely a way as not to scare the living crap out of the Canadians. It was bad enough they had the pig feeding killer a few years back, now they have a foot fetish one.
With all said and done this publicity ain’t hurting the sneaker business one little bit, in fact it is an advertisers dream. It also takes my One Shoe Phenomenon to a whole new level!
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By frigginloon on May 15, 2008 | No Friggin Comments
Well it is that time of the year again where we cosy ourselves up on the couch to see who’s singing career is about to take a nose dive. Yes, the grand finals of American Idol, the battle of the two Davids, or Chucky (Elmo) vs Herman Munster ( so they are saying) is about to unfold. I always find by the time the finals arrive my favorite has been long voted off and its all a bit of anti-climax. I don’t care who wins or loses because I am not going to buy their CD anyway. Personally I can not think of anything more torturous than having to listen to ten tracks of a whiny, powerless, adolescent voice that is Archuleta . Doesn’t anyone else see that? If he wins, I bet he will do a duet with his dad.
I also think they should change the voting format so you simply vote them off. Easier, quicker and at least the contestants really know how many people hate them. Hey and it isn’t like they will be psychologically scarred, being voted off the show is trauma in itself (ask Brooke White).
For anyone who is interested (which I doubt) the only Idol Cd I ever bought was from the youngest ever winner of Idol, she was from Australia and could whip Archuleta’s butt. Casey Donovan was sixteen when she won and she had an awesome voice, unfortunately she had weight and communication issues which blew her career right out of the water. Whoops, how could I forget Fantasia, her A fool in Love song on series 3 was just brilliant and in front of Clive Davis whats more (and I did buy her CD). Alas I digress.
So, my prediction is that David Cook will win, his CD will be predictable, Simon will sign up tickle me Elmo and give him eye opening lessons before releasing a CD which will be listen to by the 50 years and up demographic group (oh and his dad of course) before he finds himself doing Vegas 7 nights a week. Paula will continue her prescription meds and the world will continue to revolve.
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By frigginloon on April 22, 2008 | 1 Friggin Comment
Oh dear God, what the hell was he thinking ? I was really hoping this story wasn’t going to get too much media coverage as I wanted this story all to myself. But alas I was wrong. I switch on the news to catch a glimpse of Reverend Adelir de Carli’s feet dangling from a bunch of helium balloons as he floated off into a thick blanket of pollution . Not even the Darwin Awards would have seen this one coming. This crazy Roman Catholic priest from Brazil was out to break some record in the name of charity. But unfortunately not even his GPS and satellite phone could save him from the big gusts of wind that blew him (and his thousand balloons) to kingdom come. Last reports were, a search party had found millions of colorful pieces of rubber floating off the coast of Santa Catarina. It is believed he had reached heights of up to 20,000ft (6,000m), then descended to about 8,200ft (2,500m). In the last radio contact Rev Carli said he was cold. Planes and helicopters from the Brazilian air force and boats from the Brazilian navy our out looking for him. Can you imagine what they thought when they got the message ‘looking for a Roman Catholic priest in a chair attached with 1,000 balloons, last seen being blowing out to sea.’ Friggin funny.
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By frigginloon on March 27, 2008 | No Friggin Comments
Well thanks to you Mr D.B. Cooper, Mandi Hamlin had to remove her nipple ring and nipple bolt before being allowed to board an airplane. Yes, that’s right, it is all D.B. Cooper’s fault. Why ? Because he was the smart ass who decided to hijack a plane, grab some loot and jump out the rear door, without getting caught. Blame him. He is the real reason we have metal detectors, greater security and no parachutes on commercial flights (well, that bit I made up). Yes, no one wanted a repeat of his actions. Imagine the ramifications of poor Miss Hamlin using her nipple ring to hijack a Boeing. Forget box cutters, forget real cutlery in first class, forget disgruntled airport staff, forget water bottle bombs, the real issue is the embarrassment that airlines and security would have to face if a commercial airline was hijacked by a nipple pierced passenger. Oh, what a press conference that would be !
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